I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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