I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
