True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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