Screwed.edu
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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