you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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