Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Floor bacon is actually really good
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
