I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
