you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
