i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
