This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
