if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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