you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My balls are so social today.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize