road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
