apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you would pick up someone in the library
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
