You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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