I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he thought i was a dude.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
