I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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