Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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