I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
