i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
