Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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