The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
