Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
