how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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