I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
