I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
