Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
