East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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