Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
