Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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