Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize