i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
