we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
