Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize