i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
