Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
operation harelip BJ is a go
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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