what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
