pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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