This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
