But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
