No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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