we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
