Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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