i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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