dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
