So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
