What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
that's an acceptable place to lick
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We're too hungover to prance.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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