Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
