I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
