I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
