Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
