Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize