Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
