I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
