I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
