Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
