The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
