But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
