so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
