Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize