Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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