Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
