These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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