take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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