Buhtt sex?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
