You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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