Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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