he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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