i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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