I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
