I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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