About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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