Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
