Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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