This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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