One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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