Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize