More tranny stories later!
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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