The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
