when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
