no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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