Can i not drive my cunt home
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
