walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize