A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
